When the WWF Didn't Refer to Pandas

What happened to the good old days of professional wrestling when all you wanted was a guy in face paint to jump off the top rope? We didn't need 10% clothed women, lots of swearing, sexual innuendos, and specialty matches. We also didn't have pay per views every stinking month. In the glory days, it was Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, and Survivor Series. The reason we had four was because the royal rumble event was 30 guys in a ring until one was left and survivor series were teams of four battling each other until one team was fully eliminated. There are so many guys now that they have two leagues for two different shows. Are you kidding me? Maybe start cutting some of these mediocre "talent."

It is no mistake that the old school wrestlers are the ones with the biggest following. You could put a 60 year old Hulk Hogan out there tomorrow and outdraw Triple H or John Cena. I guarantee that I could get bigger numbers from a Macho Man v Ultimate Warrior reunion match than a Stone Cold and Goldberg duel. These days if there isn't something special like a bullrope, ladder, cage, or other weapon involved, no one cares. If you really want some good times, turn on ESPN Classic on a late weeknight for some AWA wrestling. Sure half the roster is dead today, but give me some Curt Hennig v Bruiser Brody anyday.

This topic is pretty random, but that is what Fridays are for. Blame this one on Always Sunny last night that not only pulled out a Rowdy Roddy Piper, but got I am a Real American stuck in my head all morning long. That was one catchy tune. I think the entrance music was the best part of the WWF back in the day. That and the action figures of course. Thank you eBay.

Parlay Time

I proved last weekend that I know nothing about picking college football upsets, but luckily I didn't share that with all of you. Off to a clearly mediocre start with a 7-6 record ATS last week, so we'll try to get a better profit margin this weekend.

Chicago -13
Baltimore -3
Buffalo +3.5
NYJ -3
Phily +1
SF +13
Seattle +10
St. Louis +4
San Diego -16.5
Green Bay -3
Tennessee -3
Carolina +11
Atlanta +10

The story this weekend will be taking the heavy underdogs and the points. These teams won't continue to win by huge margins. You start to lose your edge.

Happy Halloween!

With Halloween comes the deluge of copius amounts of candy, and I have no problem with that. Dessert is great, but sometimes candy is all you need. I'm a big fan of the underdog candies unlike Snickers, Milky Way, M&Ms, and Reese's. I'll take a sleeve of Rolos or a Special Dark bar. Dark chocolate is in my wheelhouse no matter how you use it. I even spotted a Reese's dark chocolate peanut butter cup for the first time recently, and I'm still waiting for a report back from my mom on that one.

Chocolates are good for me when kind of hungry and wanting something sweet. I generally go towards a Snickers Almond since it has unofficially become the replacement for my all-time favorite the Mars bar. Overall, I'm a fan of candies. I love Red Vines red licorice, Dots, Ju ju bees, and tootsie pops especially. I now have officially become old enough to miss my favorite candies growing up. Who else used to love going to the grocery store to hit the Pick-A-Mix bins from Brachs. Count me in for the nougats, Royals, and filled chocolates. Butterscotch discs and root beer barrels rounded out my bag.

I still remember going to the smoke shop, liquor store, or other small shops and picking out five to fifteen cent candies like jolly ranchers that came in a strip, circus peanuts, and Chuckles. I recently found my old friend Chuckles at a specialty candy store for a mere $1.25. Are you kidding me? Dude, it's five overgrown gum drops, and I don't even eat the licorice flavored one. No matter what your favorite Halloween candy is, I hope you enjoy it on Saturday without guilt for at least one day. My suggestion is to get yourself a bag of Child's Play and go to town on all Tootsie related products.

Restaurant Recap

I'm going to go region specific on this one to a budding chain in the far northwest suburban market known as Country Donuts. It's not a knockoff brand or some generic donut. These are serious homemade donuts that cater to the cake dough and fluffy dough donut lovers. I personally suggest the blueberry, cherry, or any of the classic glazed cake donut flavors.

Bands Reunited Part 1

I'm guessing that I'm one of a classroom-sized number of people that not only watched but still remember the show Bands Reunited on VH-1. Yes, VH-1 did stand for video hits one, and they did care about making musical related shows at one point in time. I didn't always have a rooting interest in seeing the band reunite, but it was fun to watch New Kids turn it down only to come back a few years later when more desperate. It was also entertaining to find out that even one person on earth gave a damn that Squeeze and Berlin both came back together for one off shows. Does anyone really need to hear Take My Breath Away again that bad?

Nonetheless, I'm pilfering this early 2000s idea for a monthly or so thought about bands that I'd like to see reunite. Maybe some of these are still possible, and others may require some fill-ins based on the pulses or lack thereof of some of the original members. I'm getting this kickstarted with Soundgarden. All the members are alive and only one of them actually has a job currently. Matt Cameron is currently on tour smacking sticks for Pearl Jam as a full fledged member at this point. After the Backspacer tour runs dry this year or next, it would be a nice time for these boys to hit the tour circuit again while they still have something left. If Alice can find a new singer, Weiland can get sober for twenty minutes, then Cornell and Thayil can pick separate rooms for a few last shows.

Why would they do it? They probably wouldn't unless they need money, but maybe they could decide that a new generation deserves to hear some stone cold rock and roll music. Not genre related, just rock and roll. All the heavier stuff from the early days like Rusty Cage and Fell on Black Days with some Jesus Christ Pose to the big time hits like Spoonman, Blackhole Sun, and Pretty Noose. I'd like them to blow up the outside world one last time. Come on Chris, prove you didn't really mean to go solo again, kill two great bands in the process, and team up with Timbaland. You're better than that.

Digital Ditty

I'll keep with the old school Seattle rockers for this Tuesday's twofer to deliver the new Alice in Chains track Check My Brain. It gets catchier every day, and I hear the new album is great. I'm still not yet on that bandwagon, but when I finally jump, you'll be sure to read about it. On a total random note, I'm going to also select the last recording from another nineties rock favorite of mine. I doubt you have it in your old school collection, so go ahead and add All in the Suit that You Wear from Stone Temple Pilots. It can be found on the greatest hits album Thank You. And as always I thank you for partaking in this week's music segment.

Jam Session

NBA Jam or Space Jam? Either option certainly ensures unbridled mid nineties entertainment especially if you have the big heads code or you're a closet Quad City DJs fan. It also takes us back to a time when the NBA was mainstream and relevant. Let's face it, most people are more interested about what stupid shit Charles Barkley is going to say and what color suit Craig Sager is wearing during an NBA telecast. Quick quiz, which teams are Rick Carlisle, Flip Saunders, and Rick Adelmen currently coaching? Indiana, Minnesota, and Portland would be all wrong answers. I actually don't know the right ones, but I'm pretty sure they all have jobs. Hell George Karl and Mike Dunleavy do. Throw in Jerry Sloan still sticking it out in Salt Lake, and all we have to do is get Pat Riley out of the management box and locate Paul Westphal to have a Michael Jordan beat my ass in the Finals marathon.

How does the NBA not have a huge corporate deal with recycling? They do it better than a crew of naked hippies at Bonnaroo. While other sports long to produce the best version of their craft at the professional level, the NBA actually tries to make their version worse on purpose. Let's get rid of travelling, certain kinds of defense, and make everything a foul. You can keep that trash and I'll take a Big Ten game in the thirties. The kids can't shoot worth a damn, but they know how to play defense and run a motion offense. More than I can say for the halfwits who took 9 hours of pottery and child rearing to stay eligible for their only season on campus. How's that working out for you so far Greg Oden?

On the lighter side of the start of the NBA season, the young guard play throughout the league should continue to improve. We've got kids like Roy, Deron, and Gordon out west, and Rose, Rondo, and D.Wade in the east. You've got to enjoy watching the evolution of the swing man as Durant and Granger are the future of the game. I can't lie, I don't even remember who the #1 pick in the draft was let alone who the break out rookies will be. I just know that central Indiana got themselves another white boy. I also know that the Bulls took a couple of nondescript college guys who make the squad instantly more mediocre. LeBron can go big time with Jay-Z, just bring me D. Wade and Amare, and Rose will lead the Bull back to the promised land.

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Here's my lone fantasy basketball tip for the season, get Gerald Wallace. I love Gerald Wallace. He's a stat stuffer.

Time to start making trades in all your leagues with all your teams. It is just more fun that way. I would be looking at playoff schedules. You know who the bad defenses are, so try to exploit them. You should also start looking to get younger at the running back position as the season grows older. Possession receivers will also become a highly sought after commodity as the weather starts to get colder and dicier.

Daily TV Schedule

So a few weeks ago we talked about the start of the fall television schedule, so now that I've had time to digest the new lineups and avoid the Jay Leno show like the swine flu, we'll tackle what to watch each night.

Monday- Start your primetime schedule with How I Met Your Mother on CBS, then head straight to ESPN for Monday Night Football. If your fantasy team has crushed your interest in football, you can catch up on the DVR or catch Big Bang Theory on CBS at 8:30 and Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives on the food network at 9.

Tuesday - Pickings are pretty slim on Tuesdays, and so are the women of 90210. I'm still hanging onto the guilty pleasure at 7PM on the CWBUPN whatever the hell channel 9 is. No matter how hot the blonde chick on Melrose Place is, I can't wrap my head around that crapfest. I typically choose an alternate form of entertainment for the rest of Tuesday. I would personally suggest DVRing the 30 for 30 special at 7 on ESPN, so you can watch that afterward. The Baltimore Colts band and USFL specials were both pretty top notch.

Wednesday- The schedule fills up a little more on Wednesdays with Modern Family on ABC at 8. That is hilarious and probably the best new addition to any fall lineup. Top Chef Vegas on Bravo and Ultimate Fighter 10 on Spike duel on my DVR during the 9 o'clock hour. I'm not an ultimate fighter junkie, I'm just waiting for former Purdue classmate Matt Mitrione to hit the octogon.

Thursday - Pretty much just DVR the entire NBC lineup on Thursdays. Community, Parks and Rec, and the Office are all great. I don't watch 30 Rock because I don't react well to shows that I'm told to watch by experts. That's just the way I am. I'm sick of Grey's Anatomy and can no longer feign interest in that garbage. Always Sunny in Philadelphia is better than it has ever been, so you definitely need to be clued into that at 9 on FX. Next week, The League starts on FX at 9:30, and I'm looking forward to that one.

Friday - I can't say that I spend a lot of time watching tv on Fridays, but I would suggest setting the DVR for Big Ten's Best at 8 on the Big Ten Network. It is a top ten list and only lasts a half hour, but it offers some great interviews about some classic childhood players and games.

Weekend Wonderment

It's going to be cold and rainy, so there aren't too many interesting things for me to suggest. Maybe you want to start your holiday shopping or find a good costume for a Halloween party. I'm going to provide an additional service or disaster in this time slot. I'm going to attempt to see how hard it is to pick each NFL game against the spread. I'll use the Friday USA Today lines, so away we go.

Houston -3
KC +4.5
Indy -13
NE -15
Minny +3.5
GB -7.5
Carolina -7.5
NYJ -7.5
Cinci -1
ATL +3
Miami +7
Zona +7.5
Phily -6.5

My lock of the week would be Indy -13 and my upset of the week is Miami on the moneyline.

Bad Taste or Awesome?

Guess what, if you're asking that question, then the answer is always awesome. Let me provide the first example courtesy of champion blog Deadspin http://deadspin.com/5385651/there-goes-the-greatest-halloween-costume-that-ever-lived The answer is yes, that is the greatest costume of all time. The time and dedication that it took to put together that entire package and idea is truly outstanding.

I will admit that even I have limits in the realm of bad taste. If you dress up as Michael Jackson for Halloween this year, please don't tape/attach a doll to your crotch. We understand the issues that he had while he was alive, and I'm certainly last in line to throw a memorial for the creepy bastard but that's too far. How do you know the difference? People don't want to see it. Is your first reaction a smile or a slightly queesy feeling? That should give you an idea. Unless that initial sickness turns it to quick unadulterated laughter, you should probably err on the side of caution with your costumes, jokes, or ideas.

Ode to Nader

I'm going to go slightly off base and not endorse a single product, but rather a store with this one. Support your local Binny's in the Chicagoland area. What a superstore of goodness. They have an outstanding wine selection with many people there to help define your tastes. Bigaro is also back in stock my friends. They host numerous wine tastings, whiskey samples, and beer extravaganzas throughout the year at each and every location. They just bought out Sam's, so they are pretty much the monopoly here in Chicagoland at this point. They have a wide selection of imports, but their regional US brew selection is unmatched with Bell's, Three Floyd's, Southern Tier, O'Fallon, Dogfish Head, Sam Adams, Goose Island, and just about any other primary regional brewer you can think of. They also offer a great selection of cigars and some pretty high end food items. Give the pretzel bread a go for your next sandwich.

Sausage That Eats Like a Meal

You know you're in trouble when you tell the butcher that the new sausage sounds good, then you ask what you should eat it with and he has no damn clue. You created it my friend, so you had to have something in mind. You could throw it on the grill, he says. Listen up asshole, it's 42 out with a strong chance of rain for the next five days, so maybe you can do a little better than that. Well he couldn't so we had to come up with our own plan. There are many great sausages out there like the Amylu line of chicken sausages and the various types of Aidell's packaged meats. I prefer to get the raw sausages at the butcher shop since they typically have the freshest seasoning and can take more flavor.

When you see a white wine and garlic turkey sausage, you can't help but be intrigued. Making that into the centerpiece of a meal is another story. We chose to go the typical pasta route, but wanted to switch up how things came together. Our theory was that if the flavor is in the sausage, it probably pairs well with the sausage.

Start by browning your sausage in a stainless steel pan with a little olive oil. Once browned on all sides, toss in a thinly sliced shallot and a few cloves of smashed garlic. Feel free to add more oil if necessary, but not too much. Sweat the aromatics with some salt and pepper for a minute or so, then throw in four full leaves of swiss chard or rainbow chard. Wash the chard, then slice into strips across the leaves and stems. Use both parts. The chard should wilt down after about two minutes, then you can put the chard and sausages on a plate. Throw some white wine into the pan to deglaze the remaining garlic and flavor bits. Let the wine reduce, then remove the heat, add a pat of butter to thicken, and toss in any type of pasta cooked al dente. Finish your plate with some parmesan and you've got yourself a nice meal.

Restaurant Recap

I think I've changed my Mexican food allegiance from Chipotle to Qdoba now that they've entered into the St. Charles market. They have a fajita ranchera burrito that is outstanding. Some lemony/tomato sauce that isn't spicy, but adds plenty of flavor is the key to this combination. The grilled vegetables are also on point. They also have a nice savory pesto made with poblanos that can be used as a sauce or a bold/spicy bbq sauce. These flavors make all the difference. Be careful with the salsas because they pack some serious heat. The green medium salsa puts some hot salsas to shame. I'm looking forward to trying the 3 cheese queso at some point despite its nuclear apperance. I would not recommend the guacamole that is really just mashed up avocado with a sprinkle of cilantro. I suggest you stop by for a visit when you see yourself by one of these fine establishments.

You Can Put it on the Billboard

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not as young and hip as I once was especially when it comes to the music scene. I would have to venture a guess that many of you are in the same boat that I am. I don't spend long hours in my car listenening to the radio. I usually either go with my newest collections of cds or I'm on sports talk radio. I like to flip to Q101 or my latest favorite 89.1 but this is pretty infrequent. ITunes is nice with their 30 second snippests to preview their songs, but I always scan the billboard weekly lists to keep myself up to date.



Personally, I tend toward the modern rock and mainstream rock single lists for the latest artists or new material from old favorites. Once a month is really plenty of time to spend on this site because the charts don't change too often. I'll usually find one or two immediate downloads, then I'll let those previews of the other tunes marinate for a few days. If I still remember the song, then it is probably worth the 99 cents. I'm certain that you can apply this method to any form of music whether it be dance, country, or hip hop.



Digital Ditty



I'll throw out a few personal favorites that have joined my download list off the recent billboard charts. I would start with Jars by Chevelle. This here is probably the most relevant local Chicago band producing music at the moment. I'm hoping to catch a live show in the coming years at a local club. If you want something with a bit different sound, I suggest you try out Uprising by Muse. They deliver some serious power in a slightly odd way.

Boiler Up!

The fans graced the field of Ross Ade Stadium for the first time since late November in the year 2000. It was also the first victory over a ranked opponent since Wake Forest of all teams in 2003. To say that Purdue needed that victory on Saturday would be a massive understatement, the entire campus needed something to go right on their football field for the first time in years. Ohio State is an especially ripe victim after some absolute heartbreakers over the past decade including the 4th down pass that propelled them to the national championship.

Danny Hope proved that he could be the man to bring this team back to the top of the Big Ten. He's got enough fire and guts to make the tough calls and live with the consequences. He's envigorated the recruiting and hired some capable assistants. I certainly respect and admire all of the guys that compete for my alma mater, but a good deal of the gentlemen currently on scholarship simply don't have the talent to contend at this level. Hope will find men who will, whether it is scanning the Midwest or offering every senior across the state of Florida. I certainly believe that he made some headway with any high school seniors in attendance this past weekend.

Joey Elliott has now earned the right to finish as the starter in every game for his senior year. He is the right man for the job and should lead the Boilers to at least two more victories if not a .500 record in Big Ten play. Ryan Kerrigan proved that he is one of the ten best defensive linemen in the country and was honored as such. Mike Neal, Brandon King, and Aaron Valentin all showed that they deserve a look at the next level when the combine rolls around. Keith Smith has admirably filled the void left behind after Dustin Keller graduated. He's fearless and takes the game to all of the defensive backs that get in his way. He'll be all conference by the end of the year and could put himself in great position to play on Sundays after next season. Hopefully some of the younger guys and the redshirt QB have learned some things from these older guys who have to fight and scrap for any success. It looks like the train is back on the tracks.

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Hopefully I've helped some of my readers with their issues this year because I certainly can't solve my own problems. I'm writing this column to avoid watching the inevitable on Monday night, which involves my team falling to 2-4. Bye week fillers are incredibly important. Do not take bye week maneuvers lightly because whenever you think you can't compete, there are guys out there who can bring you home a victory. You never know what your opponent's players will do or when he'll make a bad play.

Some guys to keep in mind this week are Sammie Stroughter of the Bucs. They love this kid in Tampa and I tried telling that to a friend before he went for 65 yards and a punt return TD this past weekend. Stick with guys that continue to perform at the tight end position. Shiancoe, Heath Miller, and even Greg Olson have proved to be far better plays than high talent guys like Finley or Keller. Stay away from quarterbacks on bad teams even if they throw a lot. What did it get Kerry Collins' owners this past weekend? The time has come for you to focus on younger backups at running back and wide receiver. The longer the season goes, the higher risk for injury. Always be aware of the upcoming schedule along with the playoff schedule. Pattern your trades to maximize these factors and always try to be a week ahead on roster moves if your bench can afford you that. Don't get married to bad bench players either. It will cost you an opportunity to get a valuable player.

Hypocrisy

I'm not really sure what triggered the topic to write about today for random advice, but it is certainly the biggest of my pet peeves. In my world, outside of actual criminals or other unsightly behavior that physically/emotionally impacts the lives of others, the worst thing that a person can be is a hypocrit. This trumps being lazy, dumb, dirty, or greedy and all of the other seven dwarves of bad. Don't tell me what to do, when you don't do it yourself. I don't want to hear Dr. Phil tell me how to eat, and I certainly don't want parenting advice from Jon and/or Kate. One good media-related example over the past week would be the outspoken NFL players that say they would refuse to play for Rush Limbaugh due to his political stance, past comments, etc. So just to get all my ducks in a row, they're perfectly fine with taking money from families that run companies overseas, donate to South Africa, and do a host of other things that are truly unsightly actions. That's outstanding.

My favorite hypocrits are the overly excitable Christians that love to turn their nose up to anyone who doesn't do exactly what they do. So again, just so I get this straight, the way to heaven is to show up to church each Sunday, then spend the rest of the week trying to screw over anyone in your path, yell at your kid's teachers, and generally do no good. It's that other guy who doesn't make it to mass, but helped his neighbor build a deck then spent the nights last week helping coach his kid's soccer team who really doesn't know what being a Christian is all about.

Those are just a few examples of some of the types of behavior that I find outstandingly bad. Hopefully, you all feel the same way I do about these sorts of things and make sure you practice what you preach before you incite it onto others. Don't be like these asshats, make a difference, be a good person, and try not to judge others without first judging yourself.

Ode to Nader

If you like reading this blog or really just come here because you want to kill work time, then I have a product for you. Keep your eyes peeled this fall for the Black Friday ads, then run out to your local Best Buy, OfficeMax, or Office Depot and get yourself a Microsoft wireless keyboard and mouse. This glorious combo is ergonomically correct, requires no mousepad, and gives you the freedom you need at your desk or home office. I would recommend these to anyone, but I'll warn you; it doesn't work if you keep your keyboard/mouse in a drawer. You'll have no room for the sensor.

One Pot Italian Classic

If nothing works better for you on a Sunday evening that a nice pot roast, then you need to upgrade yourself to the meal in a pot known as Osso Buco. It's a fancy Italian term for stewed veal shank. If you're morally opposed to utilizing veal, then feel free to try this same recipe with a lamb shank, turkey leg, or short ribs. Cooking times may vary if you change the meat. This meal is quickly become the favorite through colder weather in my household, and I guarantee that you'll be hooked once you try it. Keep in mind that this is not a cheap date, so the larger portion you make the more you can spread the wealth. The main price points in the recipe are the shanks themselves and the whole bottle of red wine required. You can also combo this recipe with a soup or stew later in the same week to utilize the remaining vegetables. I suggest serving up the gloriously meaty calf bone on a heaping pile of garlic mashed potatoes or a simple risotto. You can get crazy and make some soft polenta or even pappardelle.

The start of the recipe involves chopping one to two celery stalks and two peeled carrots into a regular dice. You'll also need to dice a whole yellow onion, mince or press four garlic cloves, and grab two bay leaves. The last bit of prep is to peel a lemon using a vegetable peeler. Try to remove as much rind with minimal pith as possible. If you struggle, just use the top of your peeler to scrape off the white stuff.

Now put your dutch oven on medium heat, add two to three counts of oil and two tablespoons of butter. While that comes to temperature, season your shanks liberally with salt and pepper, then apply a light dusting of flour to all sides. Note: your shanks should be left at room temp about 30 minutes prior to cooking and shake off as much flour as possible. Once the pot is ready, brown your shanks. This recipe can be done for four shanks or as few as one. You can usually brown two at a time in the pot. They need a light brown on all sides, then place them on a plate for the time being.

Once the meat is browned, you can dump in all the aromatics that you chopped in stage one at the same time including the rind and bay leaves. While these start to sweat, give them some salt, pepper, thyme, oregano, and such. These items will cook down for about five or so minutes, then you can place the shanks back in the pot and add an entire bottle of Cab Sav or whatever red wine you like/have. This step requires at least 20 minutes to reduce by half. The more reduced, the richer the flavor. Once reduced, you can add one can of low sodium beef broth and a 28 oz can of whole tomatoes. The whole tomatoes should be hand crushed prior to entering the pot. You can pour in all the sauce and juice from the can. Like you learned earlier this year, always try to use San Marzano tomatoes.

Stir up this concoction, add salt and pepper if necessary, then put the lid on and place the pot in a 375 degree oven for 90 minutes. After 90 minutes of alone time in the oven, remove the lid and cook for an additional 30 minutes in said oven. After those 30 minutes have elapsed, remove the pot from the oven, carefully place the shanks on a plate, then put the pot back on the stove at medium/medium high heat. As you're finishing up all the rest of the meal components, the meat will have time to rest and you can get just a bit more reduction on that sauce. There is no time limit and this step is not necessary if your sauce looks ready to go. Remove the two bay leaves and spoon that dark red goodness all over everything on your plate.

Restaurant Recap

I know I'm going off the beaten path with this one, but with the alma mater on my mind, I'm breaking out a suggestion from good old West Lafayette. Bruno's in the Levee is the place to be on gameday or just on any day. They have by far the best pizza within 60 miles of Purdue's campus, and as advertised on ESPN they have fried pizza dough balls coated in italian herbs and parmesan cheese. You have to appreciate all cultures of pizza and these guys use scissors to cut the pizza into strips. It is great stuff and worth a shot for any pizza fan.

Old Skool

If you're between the ages of 14 and 50 then you should probably check out VH-1 over the next few days and kick it old school with the Hip Hop Honors ceremony for 25 years of Def Jam. This special will bring you back or educate you on the past of a great era of hip hop artists gone by. I mean who knew DMX was not only still alive, but not in jail? This special reminded me that artists used to actually rhyme, create beats, and have meaningful lyrics. There is a reason that Yo! MTV Raps was created and Midwestern white suburbia used to dress in ridiculous clothes and get their sneakers stolen on the wrong part of town.

While no one wants to remember the days when you couldn't wear North Carolina colors or sport a new pair of Nikes, the rappers of the 80s and early 90s had a message that still rings true today. Maybe the current crop have it too good or didn't have the same level of life experience that these guys had, or maybe they need to get back to travelling in groups. Think about that for a minute. We used to have the Wu Tang Clan, Ruff Ryders, N.W.A., Bone Thugs & Harmony, Cash Money Millionaires, Murder Inc, D-12, and the list goes on. These all-star rap teams brought the best rhymes to a generation of listeners, but now what is left. Somebody please start another east-west rap feud. I must say that I fell on the west side of that one. I remember thinking to myself when I bought a Notorious BIG album that I was cavorting with the enemy. I also used to wonder what would happen if Dr. Dre and Chuck D ever actually got into a real fight. Clearly the world would have exploded.

Those were simpler times. When a young lad could turn on MTV and think that Terminator X was not a DJ, but an actual terminator sent to do the business that Arnold could not finish. Like he was sent here to take over the world in the name of large clock necklaces. Damn shame Flavor Flav had to go crazy and waste a good rap group. You have to give credit to these guys though. Rappers are like pro athletes. They entertain millions for like 10-15 years, then they disappear and spend money. You know things went horribly wrong for this genre when you see Ja Rule and Onyx perform and think about how good things used to be. Son, if you can't bring a rap stronger than Ja Rule, then you need to rethink what you're doing for a living. So it is time to put on your Pump sneakers, grab your shaggy Kangol hat, break out the gold chain with your high school number at the end of it, mount up your fellow regulators, and fight the power.

Digital Ditty

I was well known thoughout the southwest suburbs of Chicago in the late 90s and early part of this decade for completing the best rap mixes known to white people. I think the final album was my seventh compilation. There was a broad spectrum of talent and rhymes, but I'll try to limit you to a few powerful tracks. You definitely need Don't Believe the Hype by Public Enemy and my favorite rap track of all-time is still Dre Day by the Doctor himself. Those two should peak your interest to explore the glory days of the street chorus.

Bizarro World

Welcome to NFL Bizarro World where Miles Austin is the new Cowboy record holder for single game receiving and you can win an NFL game when your quarterback goes 2 for 17 for 23 yards and a pick. That pretty much sums up your NFL Sunday sports fans. If Steven Jackson wasn't so angry all the time, the Rams might just be fun bad. I do think that the Bucs have entered fun bad though as every week they do one particular thing well and everything else terrible. Hey Bucs congrats for shutting down Phily's running game, too bad you lost 33-14 after DMac threw for 350+ and 3 touchdowns.

Does it get any more bizarre than the Denver Broncos? I thought this team would be 3-13 with the Marshall escapades and Josh McDaniels being a douche rocket. Turns out Orton can play a little and apparently Larry Coyer knows a little bit about defense. While we're on the topic, I wouldn't be a fake Chicago journalist without tackling the Orton-Cutler debate. There really is no debate though. Both teams got what they wanted. Denver has a good young line that can protect a pocket passer. McDaniels needed a guy to stick to the gameplan, believe in his calls, and distribute the ball. Chicago needed a QB savior to run around, make plans, and make the offense look like an NFL squad. Jay Cutler on the Bears is like having the senior high school starting QB pick a bunch of kids off the frosh squad to play the JV team. Usually he can make enough plays on his own to make the guys look good, but if they aren't in the right spots they'll make him look real bad. The Broncos wouldn't be 5-0 with Cutler, and the Bears wouldn't be 3-1 with Orton. They are different players that do different things. Look at what Orton has done and respect the fact that he is an NFL QB, he has an NFL arm and IQ, and he needs time to process and distribute the ball to playmakers. Guess what Chicago radio analysts, Jay Cutler didn't make those receivers out there. They are just good. He certainly has made the rag tag group in Lake Forest look like NFL guys though.

Now on to less biting topics, do I hear a Who Dey off in the background? I didn't watch the Sunday night game for fear that Collinsworth was going to show up in his old jersey and start telling Ken Anderson stories. How about all the talent they have on offense? Carson Palmer has a rocket, and Caldwell and Henry will be playmakers before this year is out. If you want to figure out how to rebuild a defense, watch Rivers and Maualuga then draft a few USC linebackers. Don't fret Bear fans, this isn't the same Ced Ben that you cut last year. He finally decided to be an NFL player. He's hitting the holes hard because he trusts his linemen and he's not looking over his shoulder. Oh yeah, he isn't getting paid bank either.

I love one of the announcers this weekend that said Jared Allen is making a claim for NFL defensive player of the year. Really? Does that mean Peyton Manning is making a claim for NFL offensive player of the year too? How about MVP asshole? Go ask an opposing tackle or quarterback who would get their MVP vote. That said, Manning is flat out outstanding. Hey Wally Pipp, I mean Anthony Gonzalez, the team has moved on my friend. Go tell some stories about Big Ten championships with Art Schlister. Colts/Buckeye reference anyone?

On a parting note for this week's sports column, I would like someone to tell me how firing Dick Jauron or Jim Zorn would make either of those teams better tomorrow. Will that magically drop an NFL QB into one of their laps? It certainly won't tank the season hard enough to beat the Bucs, Rams, and Chiefs out for the first three picks in the draft. If you fire Jim Zorn will Clinton Portis' legs grow back? If you fire Dick Jauron will Trent Edwards learn to read a defense or Lee Evans learn how to run routes? Something tells me it will just further alienate your fan base and cause a few local blackouts.

Dear Mr. Fantasy

Well we saw signs of life from a few high picks like Roddy White, Eddie Royal, Michael Turner, and Donovan McNabb this weekend. If the Eagles give any job outside of janitor to Kevin Curtis when he becomes healthy, Andy Reid should be forced to observe Ramadan. Yes, that is a fasting joke. I wouldn't run out to sign Mike Crabtree even though he did just that finally. Jeremy Maclin certainly looks like a boom or bust play that could make a lot of teams better at this point. I still have no reason to believe that the Cardinals will ever figure out how to run the football. Just start giving Steve Slaton the ball on the goalline already. Congrats to 49ers defense owners after last weekend, how'd that work against Hotlanta? I think you might get another play or two out of Jamal Lewis during the bye week stretch. Speaking of teams that can't run, go get yourself a Seahawks receiver pronto. MohMass gave you exactly what you deserved if you thought a Brown receiver was going to help your team. Good luck and God bless if Romo is your QB the rest of the way. It took him 3.5 quarters to be relevant on Sunday against the Chiefs/Texans...AFL style. Bad news for some team owners, the blocking for Brady isn't going to get any better. Sell now while you still can. Another parting shot...after five weeks you should know if your team has enough talent to compete. If you're not sure yet, then you don't have enough talent to compete.

Better Things to Do

It's time for us to rise up and take back Fridays. Who actually gets anything worthwhile accomplished on a Friday anyway? Two more hours per day for the first four days of the week and we're talking about permanent three day weekends. Something tells me that internet usage is vastly higher on Fridays as well. Sure every once in awhile we'll have to play catch up for screwing off earlier in the week, but even at that point doesn't most of it just get pushed into Monday.

Really this won't lead to much more free time, it basically frees up Friday for odd jobs and house chores that are also work. The beauty in this is that every weekend will actually have two free days for whatever you need to do. I know that this won't work for everyone since they'll just push an inordinate amount of kid's sporting events into this time frame, but it might save you an early Saturday morning.

There has to be more to gain economically from the added consumer interest from the extra weekend day than time lost. Face it, I'm typing this at work now and it won't affect my bottom line at month end or year end. We all just reach our breaking points by this time on Friday afternoons.

Weekend Wonderment

So you're coming to me for advice on what to do this weekend? Did you not just catch that I have such little going on inside my head at this point that I just blabbered about free Fridays for three paragraphs? OK, two and half paragraphs. Given the impending weather in the midwest and the time of year, I suggest that you take in a movie like Couples Retreat or the Invention of Lying. Not because I've seen them, but because I would like to. Outside of that, you're on your own this time around. Catch up on sleep for the week ahead.

The Dinner Party

I'm going to stick with the combo days again this week since it is pretty busy in the office. Today I'll combine the food and advice columns for the dinner party concept. With many people feeling the effects of the economic downturn, what better way to enjoy a night out and a good meal with friends and family than hosting a dinner party. You can make any combination of foods to satisfy multiple pallettes and you can go fancy or comfortable with the attire. The two biggest keys to hosting a dinner party is food prep and entertainment. I always try to go overboard with both. It is better to have too many things that you can save for another time, instead of leaving people bored or hungry. You should start your food preparation a few days before by starting with shopping, then prep vegetables and marinate meats, and finally go things the day of. I know there are plenty of dishes that can be made ahead of time, but I fully endorse serving fresh made food for all parties.

What kind of food serves a crowd? Well we've certainly developed some mainstays, most of which I learned from my mother over the years. Mostaciolli is a huge crowd pleaser, and if you're lucky I'll pass along my aunt's recipe at some point. With that in mind, some sort of italian dish should be on the table because the pastas and breads associated with them help fill people's stomachs. You could also make a big batch of meatballs and italian sausage for sandwiches. Pulled pork is a personal favorite if you feel up to the challenge of the smoker. If not, there are plenty of solid recipes to be made in the oven. Chili is a great crowd pleaser depending on your guest list. I've had a past party where I went with a red steak chili and a mexican green pork chili. Baked goods are a big hit for the meal and in the dessert portion of the program. Homemade desserts are the only way to go. They're cheaper and taste worlds better. Even if you're just pulling out a box mix, that will do. Don't forget to have plenty of snacks like pistachios, chips and salsa, puppy chow, pretzels, and other personal favorites.

The other great part about parties at homes is that cooking for a crowd is much cheaper than cooking for just a few. You can utilize larger cuts of meat, buy bulk items, and all the costs are spread over a larger audience. So if you're starting to get bored as the weather grows colder, get a crew together and do some eating. What else do we do well in the Midwest? While you're at it, you might as well have some fun. Pull out some board games, play some poker, watch bad wedding videos, or sing karaoke, but do whatever you like to do and have a good time with it.

Restaurant Recap

I must give a recommendation here for a certain grocery store. It doesn't fall in line with the restaurant reviews, but they do have great food to take home and eat. The Fresh Market (not Caputo's Fresh Market, Springbrook Fresh Market, or all the other crapola) also known as TFM is an absolutely great place to shop. They only have the best quality ingredients, and they have everything you need for any recipe from San Marzano canned tomatoes to spices to artisan cheeses or random produce. Be careful in the produce section because while the price per lb. may look good, they have the largest fruits that I know of. The fish section is great with fresh shrimp, parmesan crusted tilapia, and pistachio grouper being some personal favorites. The meat section has anything you want. I will endorse the bacon, swiss burgers, veal shank, lamb tenderloins, chicken en croute, and all fresh sausages. They have numerous italian meats and antipasti as well as a full deli and bakery. They have a sandwich shop and plenty of wraps made fresh for lunch daily. Their homemade pizza is also very good. I have to say that I am partial to their rotisserie. It houses the best wings that I've had, great White Wine/Herb turkey breast, pulled pork, bbq pork tenderloin, petitie spiral ham, and a few other great meal options. I'm a frequent shopper at the Geneva store, but there are a few others in the area so make a special trip to complete the shopping list for that recipe you have never had the guts to try.

Rock Band

I must say that as a new convert I would recommend the video game system Rock Band to anyone who is a music fan. Whether you want the full blown Beatles game or just want a nice mix of rock music, you will definitely have a good time with this. Almost everyone loves some form of music, and even if they can't figure out how to play an instrument, they can just go karaoke-style on the microphone. I would bet that anybody who plays five to ten rounds of any instrument on easy can get the hang of it. The easy level takes the guitar down to just three buttons at a pretty slow pace. The drums take a little more getting used to, but I would say they're the most fun once you get going. If you're really a beginner, choose the bass.

Each song is rated 1-5 on a scale of difficulty at each instrument as well, so you can really adapt the game to fit your needs. The key about the new Rock Band versions is the ability to download new songs that fit your tastes. They aren't cheap at $2 apiece, but you can basically make the game your own. If you're a classic rock maven, go ahead and scoop up The Who tracks or some classic Queen. Grunge fans are served by plenty of Pearl Jame and new Alice in Chains. There are lots of newer songs and plenty of alternative and metal tracks as well. There is even a country track pack to deliver something for everyone. I would have to say that one of the newer systems like PS3, XBox 360, or Wii is the way to go so you can utilize an internet connection. If you're searching for something to get you through the colder months or you just want an easy way to figure out what the real lyrics are to your favorite songs, then give this system a try.

Digital Ditty

I picked up another CD recently and it happens to be the double disc Incubus, Monuments and Melodies. I haven't made it to the second disc of deep cuts yet, but the first disc is basically a greatest hits album. It is an eclectic mix of rockers and ballads that make you appreciate at least one rock band from the past decade. I would have to give a vote to the new song Black Heart Inertia as a download specimen. If you're looking for another hit to add to your collection, I'd go with Dig. I haven't heard it quite as much as the tunes off Make Yourself and Morning View.

Hockey Night in America

Anybody else remember when hockey was relevant? When you could catch a Wednesday night broadcast on ESPN with Bill Clement and Gary Thorne sending it down to Panger in the midst of the action? Those Hockey Night in America telecasts really showcased the game. Since then, the league has had multiple work stoppages, continued to expand, moved franchises out of relevant cities, and lost most major marketing deals. Congrats to Gary Bettman as the worst manager of anything...ever. You know who loves hockey...Canadians. I've got a great plan for a pro hockey league. Take two or three teams from Canada and northern US and move them into areas where the sport will never be relevant. This guy stood by to watch Winnipeg, Hartford, and Quebec lose hockey teams, while Phoenix, Carolina, Florida, and flippin' Columbus OHIO added teams. You move a team out of Minnesota and put one into Atlanta? How does this guy not have a real men of genius commercial yet?

The worst idea though has to be starting the season on a Friday in the heart of football season. While many adults are out at high school football games or just a nice dinner, these guys are dropping the puck days before the NFL has started bye weeks and the NCAA has started conference play. To make matters worse, one of the original six teams who have a renaissance going on in their home city starts the year in Finland! This league just can't get out of its own way. Some of the rule changes over the past couple years have indeed helped the pace of the game. I do wish that half of the league knew how to throw a decent check though.

Either way, the 1/2 of the 3 and a half major sports in America is underway. I must say that local success has finally got me interested in the league to a smaller degree. Televising home games will do that for you. Next step, making team sweaters more affordable. Hockey sweaters are sweet, especially throwbacks, but not at nearly $100 each. Keep it. I expect the 'Hawks to take a slight step back or remain at the same level this season. The team was way ahead of schedule last year and most of the key members are still really young. They need experience, but mostly they need bulk. The team though needs a real goaltender. I don't see Huet beating the Red Wings come March or April or whenever the hell this marathon ends. Either way, you can't deny the excitement of playoff hockey. Shootouts are great during the regular season (except for Chicago fans), but there is something special about 4 overtime sessions.

Dear Mr. Fantasy

You should now be starting to figure out if your team can contend in its present form or not. I'm doubting that any impact players are left on your free agent lists, so it is time to play let's make a deal. I'm going to briefly touch on things/players that I would look to acquire and ones that I would steer clear of. I'm buying Drew Brees, 49ers D, 49ers running backs, anything on the Giants, Dallas Clark, Colts receivers, people named Manning, Jay Cutler, Steelers passing attack, Flacco, Ray Rice, Chargers passing game, Panthers runners, and running backs named Brown. I'm going nowhere near LT2, Broncos passing game, teams that still haven't won a game, old running backs, Matt Forte, Julius Jones, Steelers runners, Vikings wideouts, anything out of New England, and the entire Cowboys passing game. Now these lists certainly don't cover every team and every player, but it should give you a general idea of things that I've seen through the first quarter of the season. General rule: only offer trades that make some sort of sense to the other owner. Otherwise, either your deal will get shotdown with no counteroffer or the league will veto the proposition. Also, don't structure a trade based on bye weeks. There are no byes in the playoffs, and those are the only weeks that matter.

Oprah, Obamas, Olympics...Oh No!

Well fair citizens of greater Chicagoland and throughout the U.S., the IOC just gave us all a quick slap across the face. Not only are you not getting the Olympic games, but shame on you to think that we were really considering you. Most of us were considered fencesitters when it comes to the games. I don't know any hardcore Olympic fans, and most people I know either don't live within the city limits or won't live there seven years from now. Either way, civic pride starts to take over on a morning like this one as we all enjoy big celebrations. Today's event must be what it feels like to have John Calipari as your head coach. Hey congrats on the great season, but we're taking back all your victories due to multiple violations.

Now in the aftermath of the Olympic bid, we're all wondering what went wrong and what happened. I would imagine there are multiple reasons behind all of this. I bet that a large contingent of the Americas vote did likely side with Rio since there has been no Olympic event in that country. To a larger extent, I hope this vote serves as a giant wake up call to those in charge of the bid and the city of Chicago and maybe even the U.S. to a larger extent. The city infrastructure is abysmal, and I'm sure the IOC thought there would be a high percentage chance that many of the facilities would not be completed on time. If a city doesn't have enough money to pay the employees that are already on staff, I don't see where they come up with the dough to build major athletic venues.

Chicago already hosts teams in every major sport and most minor ones down to professional lacrosse and softball. What could we possibly do with more venues? Lord knows we could use a new ampitheater to replace that pile of garbage known as World Music Theatre in Tinley or whatever the hell it is known as these days. The true shame in losing the bid is that still to this day the largest sporting event (and I use that term loosely) that this city has hosted is Wrestlemania. That's brutal. No major professional events, no major collegiate events, and not event the state championships at the high school level. Sorry fitness friends but having the Solheim Cup in Sugar Grove doesn't count in my world.

My hope is that this shot across the bow to those in charge will help fortify the city itself. Use that money to serve multiple purposes. We still need to find a way to get skilled laborers back to work without crippling the city. More importantly, don't stop plowing the friggin streets. Maybe fix the potholes in the roads. There are plenty of things for this Olympic committee to work on now that their bid failed miserably. I will have to give a quick bit of kudos to them as two years ago I spent an hour in a full presentation, and they really did put on a hell of a show. It would have been magnificent to see them pull it off, but miserably all at the same time. Looks like Daley will have to actually come up with something in house to help this city and secure his legacy.

Weekend Wonderment

This weekend is not shaping up to be a great one in the Chicagoland area weatherwise. It may be lame, but doing a nice fall cleaning might be your best bet. Maybe rent some movies that you missed over the summer and put on some food in the crockpot or dutch oven. If the weather does break, it would be a good time to hit the links once again or take an extended bike ride. The good part about all this is that it comes with a pretty cheap price tag. Enjoy the weekend however you choose to utilize it.