Polar Opposites

The more television I watch, the more I hear about the parity in pro football. While maybe some people feel this way on an every game basis, this season has proved that the NFL has anything but parity. There are clearly the haves and the have nots, but the reason has nothing to do with dollars. It all consists of a string of bad decisions from the top to the bottom for a number of teams. If you think the Super Bowl run is going to be hotly contested this season, take a look at the race for the number one pick. Let's check the early candidates:

The St. Louis Rams actually fought hard in week 2 at Washington, but this team has nothing to build around. Steven Jackson is a solid runner, but he'll be an old man in running back years by the time they can actually compete. I think Spags can make that team believe in the locker room, but Marinelli was a motivator and he just went 0-16. This team has absolutely terrible line play on both sides of the ball despite spending top ten picks the past three years on their front line. Bulger should be retired, and this team is the leader in the clubhouse for being on the clock come January.

The Cleveland Browns get worse and worse every year. They actually fired a failed defensive coordinator from the Patriots regime to hire a failed defensive coordinator from the Patriots regime. My guess is that these unorginial bastards will shitcan Mangina by the end of the year and elevate Rob Ryan to the head job. Why you ask? Look what his bro is doing in NY. I told you these guys are unoriginal. They have no good QBs and that will kill a season.

The Tampa Bay Bucs chose a child to run a franchise. Their head coach is officially one graduating class ahead of me at 32 years old. He can't speak in public, so I can imagine that he doesn't do much better in the locker room. He wants to be friends with all his "boys" and fails to get across a winning message. He dealt away their best QB to go with three brothers in the backfield. Of course, these guys didn't need Derrick Brooks or Warrick Dunn around. This team has the worst defense in the NFL according my eye test over the first three weekends.

The Kansas City Chiefs apparently loved the Larry Fitzgerald performance in the Super Bowl because they were the only team that thought Todd Haley was a good hire. He pisses off everyone that he works with. I'm not a big fan of player's coaches, but you can't head into KC and piss off Dwayne Bowe. He's just about all you've got. Scott Pioli, congrats for making the Belichick legend grow even larger because clearly you weren't in charge of making any good decisions in Boston. How's that Cassel deal working out? He might be the third best QB on the roster with Croyle and Thigpen.

There are plenty of other bad teams, but these four are all winless. The Redskins, Lions, Raiders, and Jaguars aren't too far off the pace as far as I can tell. Let's not dwell on ineptitude for this entire post. There are a host of pretty darn good teams in the NFL right now, so I'll give you my weekly rundown of what I saw this weekend. I'll try to do this every Monday after I get to catch a fair bit of action.

The Ravens look great thanks to their offense. Flacco is throwing it all over, but the run game has been the key. Sure the D looked great against the Brownies, but that was their first solid effort. Congrats to the Lions, and I'm going to take a bit of credit along with my main man Michigan Neush for actually picking them to win this weekend. Anybody who saw the Redskins play the Rams the week prior could have used this pick in the eliminator challenge. Jim Zorn seems like a nice guy, but he has no chance. Daniel Snyder will win as many titles as Mark Cuban in the NBA. Is there anybody else that wants to see the Texans and Saints duel for about 6 hours and see who hits 200 points first? That said, Gary Kubiak is getting fired after the season because the Texans aren't making the playoffs. Note to the Bears: Lovie has looked pretty damn good calling defensive plays and the players respect him. Keep him around as the head man/DC and hire Kubiak to be the offensive head coach. You'll instantly be better and so will your offensive line because he'll cut all your lard asses. At least they can't call those guys gutless.

Don't count me as one of those guys who are going to praise the Patriots. They won a home game against a team with a young QB who certainly isn't going to go unbeaten. The Pats don't win their division, and they'll be lucky to be 10-6 and hope for a playoff spot. Brady doesn't have the protection or the weapons and the defense sucks out loud. In case anyone is looking for an update, no Michael Turner hasn't stopped eating. Either that of his jersey is hooked up to a vat of helium. He's got as much explosion as pop rocks. I will be shocked if the Packers challenge for the division title. They still look like they haven't woken up. Rodgers has no protection and Ryan Grant looks like an undrafted free agent. Oh where oh where has Samkon Gado gone? The Giants are real damn good and it is due to line play on both sides of the ball. Apparently Eli actually plays better when he bleeds money. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. I love the Rex Ryan philosophy and these guys are a joy to watch. Sanchez will not let this team lose if it gets a lead. He knows how to make accurate throws and good decisions with a lead, and Rex will not let his defense give that lead up. In two weeks, this defense adds its best pass rusher back from suspension. Just think if Vernon Gholston could actually play? The Titans season isn't over at 0-3. They've had a tough stretch, but have played well. I can't wait to see a half way decent team play the Phily defense. The most overrated 3-0 squad in the league resides near the Liberty Bell. Guess what TV guys, no one gives a shit about a former inmate who ran for 7 yards all damn day. Speaking of guys no one gives a shit about, I watched zero highlight shows due to the incessant Favre love that was certain to come with them. Speaking of highlight shows, pretty impressive that you need a degree to work in television...oh wait, tell that to Shannon Sharpe, Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin, Cris Carter, Keyshawn, etc. Can any of these guys read or write?

I liked the Saints better when Drew was throwing for a million yards a game. If the Bills start Marshawn Lynch after suspension, Jauron should just fire himself. How fun are the 49ers? They just kind of hang around score random points and don't make mistakes. Maybe there will be a Score remote if they make the playoffs and Terry and Dan can eat a truckload of crow for all their Singletary bashing. I'm pretty sure that I could find five mid-level college defensive linemen and two inside linebackers, run a 5-2, and stop the Bears running game 90% of the time. Their O-line can't block anybody, and Matt Forte is Shaun Alexander on his best day. Remember that guy did win an MVP, but when the blocking stopped, so did he. I can hear the Who Dey chants from Riverfront all the way in Chicagoland. Marvin Lewis found himself some linebackers. Carson Palmer has officially said Remember Me? The Steelers fall under the Titans category. They've generally played well and will be just fine. Sorry to all the northshore readers, Rashard Mendenhall has a one way ticket to Canada. I will personally guarantee that 3-0 Denver will not finish this season with a winning record. The Raiders make me sick that they've won an NFL game. That might tell you something about KC's talent level. They piss me off because they're ruining Darren McFadden for the rest of us. San Diego seems content to sleep walk through another regular season. Miami just lost their QB, but they probably just helped themselves start looking toward the future. They're old and bad, but not quite gay. Although on second thought, Landshark Stadium does qualify them as gay. Peyton Manning is awesome, and Kurt Warner is not. Maybe the Panthers need to be thrown into that bad team mix because of Delhomme. Talk about ruining good running back talent. That should just about cover the entire weekend.

Final note: the blog and hopefully all the readers send get well and best wishes to Stafon Johnson, a senior running back at USC. He underwent emergency surgery this afternoon after he lost the grip during a bench press and the bar fell on his throat. Hope for a full and speedy recovery for a terrible accident. I'm sure Pete Carroll has made a lot of money for that school over the past decade, and I hope they invest some of it in some Smith machines for those kids.

Dear Mr. Fantasy

This was certainly a weird week of action throughout the league. Hopefully you took a late round flier on Willis McGahee. All I can say is that I hope you either drafted some good recievers or picked up the scraps over the first few weeks. There is nothing left out there folks. If you want to take a flier on someone else's trash good luck to you. I can't endorse Eddie Royal, Terrell Owens, Donnie Avery, Antonio Bryant, or TJ Housh. There aren't any receivers currently struggling that look poised for a breakout. Wait this position out for another few weeks. Glen Coffee is a must add as he got 20+ carries once Gore left the game. Vernon Davis also showed signs of life and appears to be a real part of their passing attack. Mike Wallace and Tashard Choice are third options at WR and RB that could pay dividends down the road. Take a look at young legs in split shares to see if you can pry away some fantasy gold for the stretch run i.e. McCoy, Washington, Bradshaw, and possibly Felix Jones. If you're looking to deal for any receiver at this point, look at their team's philosophy and make sure they're throwing over 20 passes per game. Also, look for running backs on teams with good offensive lines. This could be the time to buy DWard or Cadillac as the Bucs just looked awful. Their center will return and they are committed to running the ball. Good luck in week four and remember to use the trading block feature.