Get Back to the Call Letters

I'm going to combo the advice/random column this week because the advice doesn't really pertain to any of my readers, but I had to get it off my chest. Television needs to take a step back and read their call letters. If the name of your station is Music Television or Video Hits - 1, then every once in awhile in the hours while people are actually awake, it might be nice to actually see a music video. Showing a 30 second clip in between shows of a "new" artist who is now making their 3rd album (only this is their first relevant one) doesn't actually count. Sometimes I feel like the Travel Channel is actually a spinoff of the travel channel known as Places You Would Never Want to Go Channel. I'm glad I get to see it on tv because I don't travel with a camera crew, so I would get cut in most of those places. Don't even get me started on the news channels. First off, you don't need an all news channel because there isn't that much news. Call your local affiliates and tell them to free up half of their broadcast by condensing all the violent crimes in bad neighborhoods to a list for 30 seconds, stop interviewing people that can't read nor write, and pull out the random human interest crap. It isn't interesting. Now you've got plenty of time for the locals to deliver all of the actual news going on around the world.

Those are just a few easy cable examples of useless programming, but that isn't even the main reason why I'm writing this column. The advice that I would like to share pertains to comedy and variety shows currently on national broadcasting channels. If Letterman and Conan want to crack a few political jokes each night, we have come to expect it and is a welcome part of the monologue. We know what we're getting from Stewart and Colbert every night, which is the premise of their shows. Keep the political crapola out of Saturday Night Live for crying out loud. This show is just the easiest example, but there are plenty of similar shows that suffer from the same affliction. Hey, we know it is tough times. Your cast has been bad for a number of years and the writing is horrible. The answer is more stupid humor like the Target lady, digital shorts, and commercial spoofs. Once an episode or so is fine when a politician does something dumb or just is dumb (Sarah Palin anyone?), but I don't need 3 fake republican characters every show being painted as complete buffoons. If you're going to keep doing this, at least pull out Pelosi or Biden or another democratic dumbass to even the score. I'm sick and tired of everyone trying to push their agenda at every turn. Guess what asshole, if you really want universal healthcare that bad, google it, find which country suits you best, then move! No one is stopping you. Health care is just one example, but there are countless things that people tirelessly bitch about day after day. If it is that bad, then leave. You notice all those people immigrating into America because they don't like the lifestyle in their old countries? Why not give it a shot? Put your money where your mouth is.

I'm off on a slight tangent at this point, but basically when I tune in to be entertained that needs to be the focus. You can utilize entertainment in any form, but if it actually gets to the point that I notice how you're trying to sell an agenda: you're not entertaining anymore. It is probably worse with SNL because you know if they weren't reading off those cue cards, they likely wouldn't have a thought. Broadcast TV goes out to everyone's home, so it might not be wise to alienate all those 40-60 year olds that actually have jobs and money just to keep it real for your younger peeps. Completely random final side point: we know that these "kids" in the high school shows on tv are actually in their mid-twenties, but it probably isn't wise to continuously show these "kids" partying and drinking if you're trying to sell the point that they are 16 and in high school.

Weekend Wonderment

There really is only one thing to be doing this weekend: Grundy County Cornfest. Boy I sure have been beating the colon to death in the last two paragraphs. Speaking of beating your colon into submission, the Cornfest will certainly help you with that. Corn dogs and bratwurst at every turn, plenty of other fried delights, sugar waters, and of course alcohol will make the weekend all the more merry. Personal selections would be the fresh roasted corn, the pork poor boy, corn dogs, ribeyes at First Midwest, and porkburgers on Sunday at the Methodist church. There are bars basically lining every street downtown, so you can't miss that action. If you want to know what else there is to do, I've pretty much covered it with the eating and the drinking. There are other things, but not very many pertain to this demographic.